Last month we celebrated my grandson George’s birthday. I cannot believe my youngest grandchild is eight years old already. Like many 8-year-old boys, he’s into all things Legos and Minecraft. This year he asked me to make his cake and surprised me when he went a little retro in his decorating request. Pac-Man!
When it comes to birthdays, I am so very thankful that my daughter helps her kids create Amazon gift lists. They make shopping for my loved ones so much easier. A “click” or two and the shopping is done and I can be reasonably sure that I am purchasing something my grandchild really wants and will appreciate.
But shopping for a loved one with Alzheimer’s (or any type of short-term memory loss) can be a little tricky. What they once enjoyed may now hold no meaning at all, or may actually cause agitation. My mom had Alzheimer’s. It took a little bit of experimentation to find out what she liked, but I learned things along the way and hope my experience will be helpful to someone else. Here are a few of the gift ideas my mom enjoyed:
Something cuddly soft and warm (and very washable) – like a new blanket, a pretty sweater, or a beautiful shawl. In my experience with my momma, being cold was always a problem. I could be fanning my sweaty self and my sweet momma would be in the same room looking for something to wrap herself in because she was cold. We bought her several plush bed jackets and soft sweaters with pockets. Momma was not alone, as being perpetually cold was a problem with many of her friends in her assisted living memory care. I would suggest something in a favorite color, but nothing with a busy pattern; I learned the hard way that patterns can turn into terrifying objects when a loved one is in a stage where hallucinations and delusions are common (you can read about one such experience here).
The quilt hanging on the railing in the photo below was a gift for my brother sent by his friend Cheri and the church quilting group to which she belonged. It was such a nice gift and sweet gesture of love and care. He may not remember who gave it to him, but he will appreciate its warmth in the coming winter months.
Coffee (or another favorite beverage). Mom’s eyes lit up when I brought her sweet tea or a Diet Coke. My brother always enjoys a good cup of coffee (with lots of half & half) whenever I visit him.
A photo book. Photo books are a perfect icebreaker when visiting a loved one who no longer remembers your name or connection. Just paging through a photo book takes away some of the awkwardness of memory loss, giving you something to enjoy together. In the photo above, my granddaughter Violet is spending time with her great-grandma going through a photo book that features Violet’s family. In addition to your corner drugstore, there are any number of on-line sites where photo books can be created.
A favorite treat – as Alzheimer’s progressed, mom developed quite a sweet tooth and loved it when I brought a cookie or a donut. Please don’t be too worried about nutrition; it’s all about your loved ones favorite things and bringing them joy at this stage in life. I would occasionally put a cookie in a ziplock bag, then tuck it in her purse for her to discover later. Your loved one may not realize it is from you, but trust me when I say your surprise will bring a bright spot to their day.
A birdhouse. Many residents have birdfeeders, which are quite enjoyable; however, they require someone willing to keep them clean and filled with seed, which isn’t always practical. Birdhouses are quite lovely to look at and don’t require a lot of upkeep. Seeing bird families coming and going is sure to bring a smile.
What are your gift suggestions? Please share them in the comments.