Author: barefootlilylady
I love sharing about my barefoot gardening adventures, hence my blogger name. As I write, some of my other passions might spill out -- like fun with grandkids, baking and sewing endeavors, what I'm studying in Scripture, and the like. My readers will notice that one of the primary things I write about is Alzheimer's. May what I write be an encouragement to anyone who is a caregiver for someone they love with memory loss.
Six on Saturday: The Garden’s Faded Glory
A tired garden trellis is given a fun purple paint-job and a new lease on life, thanks to my hubby.
Iris ‘Immortality’ makes a return fall blooming engagement.
We lost our birch tree last year and haven’t gotten around to grinding out the stump. It made a nice pedestal for my mother’s blue pot of dianthus and a bit of orange portulaca trying to make a comeback for one more blooming before killing frost.
This hibiscus moscheutos ‘Tie Dye’ just keeps on blooming. It’s slowing down, but still putting out a few ruffled blooms every day.
A few years ago my neighbors bought a whole bunch of plants in the hopes of doing a major landscaping project. Pots filled with the promise of spectacular blooms awaited planting, but it seemed they would never get planted. In fact, I rarely saw my neighbors. At summer’s end, I noticed my neighbor lady outdoors, so stopped my gardening to chat with her a bit. She apologized for the “mess” in her driveway – a few pots of dead and dying plants sitting in a heap. I asked her what had happened. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, much like these potted plants, my neighbor’s marriage was shriveling and dying. Pointing to the pots, she said that if there was anything I’d like to try to save, to just take it. Sedum ‘Maestro’ stands in testament to the fact that, like marriage, plants need attention and TLC.
My garden helper, Smoky – a neighborhood stray who chose us as his family three summers ago.
That’s my six for the week. Now, let’s see yours.
Keep checking back to our host’s site for the latest Sixes.
Wordless Wednesday: Ten Rays of Yellow Sunshine
Six on Saturday – “Hello” to Autumn
Like most Midwestern gardeners, my season in the garden for 2018 is coming to a close and, as always, I have so much left to do. Over the past few summers, taking care of Momma has been my first priority with time spent in the garden has been very limited. This year Momma lives with me, so my gardening strategy has been to squeeze at least one gardening task into one of her daily naps. I know I’ve accomplished a lot more this year than the past two or three, but I still feel a tad bit overwhelmed. I have four new daylilies (purchased in June) which are still awaiting planting in my flowerbeds, hostas I’d like to divide, weeds that need to be pulled, bushes needing trimming, mulching that should be done, and my newly arrived mail-order of new tulip and daffodil bulbs awaiting burial in a sunny garden location. I’ve had all sorts of reasons (excuses) – hot rainy weather paired with mosquitoes; cold rainy weather paired with soggy ground; and plain ol’ busyness paired with the tiredness that comes from late nights taking care of my mom as she wrestles with the fiend, Alzheimer’s.
With only a suggestion, my wonderful husband painted a few of my garden trellises to renew their almost spent life cycle. Here’s one he painted red for me. It looks amazing as a backdrop for some orange zinnias that are still lookin’ snazzy on the edge of a flowerbed awaiting fall cleanout.
One of autumn’s faithful beauties is most definitely sedum. So, so, so pretty.
Our fireplace woodpile houses a few chipmunks who love to use the top log as their stage for their morning ‘chippy’ serenades. I noticed something fun when I was looking through photos…their stage has a lovely heart shape in the wood-grain on the end.
One of my favorite shades of green in the garden is this one – a lovely chartreuse-y green that lights up the garden wherever it is planted. This ‘Tiger-Eye’ Sumac graces the north-east corner of our backyard deck.
I don’t recall planting cosmos this year, but I’m loving this fuchsia pink volunteer…and so are the visiting bees.
This beautiful cherry red zinnia makes me smile too. With very little effort, late summer and early fall are rewarded with this cheery flower. I’m a perennial gardener, but there is always room for zinnia in my gardens.
And I always, always wish I had planted more zinnia.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my very first contribution to ‘Six on Saturday’– a fun blog meme hosted by The Propagator, and introduced to me by Carolee, whose blog “Herbal Blessings” makes me aspire to be a better gardener. Please take a moment to check out both of their blogs. You’ll soon find yourself virtually wandering through some pretty amazing gardens all over the world and I guarantee you will learn something along the way.
For the Love of Books
For a very brief window of time, it seemed something Mom had lost had been restored. Mom always loved reading books. I thought Alzheimer’s had stolen my mother’s ability to read.
Imagine my delight when she picked up a devotional book, paged through it, then read from its pages for about 30 minutes. Unbelievable. I’m so grateful. It hasn’t happened again since then, but it was sweet in the moment that it happened.
Wordless Wednesday: Daylily Love
Tuesday’s Tip: Adult Coloring Books
Keeping loved ones with dementia disorders such as Alzheimer’s engaged during the hours when you’d like them to be awake is a key to combating the dreaded, but all too common disorder called Sundowner’s Syndrome. Sleep is vital, not only for our loved one, but for those of us who provide their care.
My mother never seemed to develop a traditional hobby. Following her retirement from nursing, she tried her hand at cross-stitch and dabbled with making earrings, but “crafting” just wasn’t her thing. Our family wasn’t much for sitting around the kitchen table playing cards, working puzzles, or coloring either.
My Mom took over gardening duties when Dad was in his final battle with cancer. I’d say she was a natural at gardening, enjoying spending time “scootching around” on the ground tending her plants and actually enJOYing pulling weeds. Nearly every inch of dirt seemed to burst forth with floral splendor. When we found it necessary to move her out of her home and into a senior apartment, we brought along her favorite blue pots so she could enjoy tending a few of her favorite flowers on her little patio.
But, her favorite past-time by far was serving God by serving people. One of the hardest things about her journey with Alzheimer’s was watching her having to give up her various ministries and activities. One by one, as her driving became limited, so did her opportunities to serve. As her knees and arthritic hands gave out on her, the desire to garden fell away. When her memory faded, so did her ability to have meaningful relationships with her friends. Faded memories were slowly replaced by compulsive behaviors common to those with dementia. Pacing back and forth. Rummaging through drawers and closets. Sorting through her purse. It soon became evident that we needed to introduce something enjoyable so that we could redirect her attention from these compulsive behaviors to something encouraging.
We ordered a few coloring books; at first she didn’t have much of an interest. So I would sit at the dining table and color in her books. Sooner or later, out of curiosity, she would join me. Before long, she was coloring on her own. Now, when children come to visit, she loves to have them color with her and will oftentimes take on the role of “coloring teacher” as she instructs her students on the finer points of choosing the appropriate colors, staying within the lines, and shading and outlining.
The gardener in her loves flowers and butterflies, so many of her coloring books feature a plenitude of these these creatures. Because Momma is a woman of faith, we have found that coloring books with Bible verses are especially meaningful to her. [For a link to one of her favorites, click here.]
Wayne bought her this lovely set of Thornton’s colored pencils in a zippered binder-type case. It was a game-changer! For some reason, she is partial to greens and yellows when coloring, but she loves sorting the many pencils in this case. If you should stop by for a visit, you can also be sure that she will take great delight in offering its colors within and an invitation to sit down and color with her.
This Tuesday’s Caregiving Tip: To calm, encourage and distract the anxious Alzheimer’s mind, try coloring.
Little Things
After lunch today Momma asked me to trim her fingernails. I had been refused several times lately when it had been my suggestion. Today it was hers, so I dropped what I was doing and took care of that request.
As she happily admired her shorter nails, I asked if I could please wash her hair.
“Again? You want to wash it again,” she mildly retorted.
Now that her hair is growing longer, she enjoys twirling the ends around her fingertips, adding a little 60’s flip to her hairdo. So I countered, “Yes, it has been awhile and you’re losing your pretty curls.”
It worked. A few minutes later she was humming a contented tune while I was blow drying her pretty silver locks.
Today I’m thankful that this little thing made her happy for this little moment in time.
Wordless Wednesday: Summer’s Departure
Tuesday’s Caregiving Tip: Accept Help
My hubby has been gone for ten days on a short-term mission trip in Dehra Dun, India. Ten days. I know, in the greater scheme of things, that’s not very long. If all goes well with travel plans, he should be pulling in the driveway in time for lunch today. His absence has made me keenly aware of all the little things he does for me that make it possible for me to care for my mom in our home. I am blessed and grateful.
More than ever, in the time that he has been away, I have also discovered how very blessed I am with friends and family. They’ve helped me clean my house, mow my lawn, and brought me dinner and companionship. These beautiful people have spent a little time with my mom so I could go to the gym, grocery shop, run a few errands, work in my garden, celebrate my birthday with my family, or take an unhurried bath. After a Facebook post about my sleepless nights, a couple of friends carved time out of their busy lives to take care of mom for a few hours, allowing me time to take a nap. One sweet friend even spent the night so I would be assured of at least one night of uninterrupted sleep.
We caregivers are made of some pretty strong stuff. But, sometimes, some of what appears to be “strength” is just a facade – a false wall of competence that gives others the impression that we’ve got it all together and that we don’t need any help. That facade is a form of pride which causes us to struggle to accept help when it is offered.
I have been hesitant to hit the “publish” button on this blog post, because I realize many of my fellow caregivers struggle with finding people to support them and give them a little respite. My heart goes out to you. As I pull my thoughts together into words to write, I am praying that God will bring into your life people who can help.
I think it is safe to say that most caregivers have heard someone say, “How can I help?” Or perhaps it sounded more like, “If there’s ever anything I can do to help, just give me a call.” This little missive is primarily written for you. I must admit, I have heard myself reply on far too many occasions, “No, thanks. I’m okay. But, thanks for offering.”
Here’s my tip – If someone offers to help, never turn them away. Don’t put off saying “yes” for a time when you really need it. You really need it now.
I would love to hear how some of you have been helped as a caregiver, or given help as a friend. Please share your ideas and thoughts in the comments below.
Barefoot Lily Lady 