One word prompt sent to a community of bloggers. Five minutes to write about it. Unedited. Don’t think too hard…just write. The Five Minute Fridayword prompt this week is LAUGH. Ready, set, go!
I heard my dad laugh this week. It took me by great surprise, because dad went to his heavenly home in 2008. But, there it was – that familiar laugh. It started with an under the breath “heh-heh-heh” that morphed to a jolly, tummy-jiggling chuckle, and ended with a loud, throw your head back, “Ha!”
It happened when I was paying my brother a visit in the nursing home where he resides. I usually stop by after work and bring him a home-baked cookie and his favorite peach ice-tea. He doesn’t talk much, but he’s always glad to see me.
There’s a nice comfy chair in the corner of Brad’s room right next to his bed. I plop my work-weary self in the chair, kick off my shoes and prop my feet up on the edge of his bed, then sit with him for a few minutes to watch whatever he’s watching on the television. It’s usually an episode of Blue Bloods, but on this day it was a funny movie. It was during that tv-watching moment when I distinctly heard my dad laugh.
Back in 2014, making sure that mom had all her legal paperwork ducks in a row was one of the smartest investments we made in both time and money in preparation for the Alzheimer’s road ahead of us. Thankfully, mom and dad had a good foundation, having already met with their lawyer to get their house in order for the future as soon as my dad began having health struggles.
They had written their wills and had also established two essential (in my opinion) legal instruments:
Power of Attorney for finances and property
Healthcare Power of Attorney (state specific form)
If you do not have both power of attorney documents and your loved one is determined to no longer have the capacity to make their own decisions, “Guardianship of the Estate and Person” may be necessary. You will likely have to petition the Court to appoint a guardian to make the decisions not covered by the missing POA document. Knowing in advance who will be entrusted with these responsibilities is important, so be sure you have both.
Make your Power of Attorney for Finances and Property effective now so your agent can quickly handle financial matters. Your agent will need to sign a “Duties and Liabilities” form, but the agent can start helping you immediately. My husband was my mom’s POA for finances and, because that “effective now” box was checked, he could help my mom with her banking, put all of her bills on autopay (so she didn’t have to deal with the mail), take care of matters related to her investment accounts, talk to her banker, pension fund administrator, and insurance companies. He did not have to wait until she was declared incompetent.
In addition to the above essential documents, we found the following to be beneficial as well:
Make sure “special powers” are included in your POA document. In my state of Wisconsin, the standard form available for download does not include provisions for gifting or grant powers to your agent to amend trusts or beneficiary forms. Your attorney can help you create a “Special Durable Power of Attorney” with trust provisions. These powers can be very helpful when a person is trying to protect assets from long term care costs.
Consider creating a “special needs trust” as a place to shelter or reserve enough cash to be able to take care of things not covered by Medicaid. In our state it is called WISPACT. My brother lives in a nursing home. I am his POA for healthcare and my husband serves as his POA for finances. My brother had been unemployed for several years and had no savings and no income (too young for Medicare), and would quickly spend down a modest retirement account he had from a previous employer. With the “special powers,” Wayne established a WISPACT fund for him to set aside some of my brother’s retirement money prior to Medicaid spend-down. This is NOT a way to cheat the nursing home. For us, having this fund means we don’t have to dip deep into our own pockets to pay for things my brother needs that are not covered by Medicaid. For example, if my brother needs new blue jeans or a dental appointment, we go ahead and take care of that need, then submit either an invoice (e.g. for the car repairs) or receipts (e.g. for blue jeans) with a “request for distribution” to WISPACT. The expense will then be reviewed by the trust manager to ensure that the expense meets public benefit rules, and the bill is taken care of or we are reimbursed. The trust is irrevocable, meaning that no funds will be returned; when my brother dies, any funds left in that account go to the state.
Prepay funeral expenses – Mom and dad had already chosen and paid for their cemetery plot and, thankfully, she had shown me where the deed was located earlier in her disease process. My husband and I took care of pre-paying mom’s remaining funeral expenses based upon both her written notes as to her desires and a conversation we had with her in an earlier stage of Alzheimer’s. We have done similarly for my brother. He’s only 61, so could live much longer. Pre-paying his final expenses locks in today’s pricing.
A Caregiver Agreement – While mom was still able to make her own decisions, she expressed concern knowing that I may someday have to quit my job to take care of her. When we sat down with mom’s attorney, who specialized in elder law, he advised that we draw up a caregiver agreement – a legal contract which defined the dollar amount and the number of hours she would pay me in caring for her. Truth is, it became a 24/7 job, but our agreement made in advance made it possible for me to be paid as her family caregiver. Momma never got to the point of Medicaid spend down. If she had, her finances would have undergone the “5-year look back”, and having this legal agreement would help protect me financially.
Advanced Directive – None of us knows when we will take our last breath. How thankful I am that mom and I had that difficult conversation about end of life. And I am doubly thankful that she took care of creating an Advanced Directive. This helped me as her POA for healthcare (and caregiving daughter) make vital end of life care decisions on my mom’s behalf when she was no longer able to make those decisions herself.
I gave this post the title “Documents EVERYONE Should Have,” but should probably mention a bit of a caveat. An individual with Alzheimer’s will hide things that are important…including paperwork. In fact, they may throw them away. When my mom was in the mid stages of the disease, I decided it was time that I took her important papers home with me for safe-keeping (including that cemetery deed I mentioned above). However, the paperwork was still extremely important to my mom. I decided to make good photo copies of her originals and create a special binder of all that information for her. She absolutely loved it. She would spend hours paging through it, double-checking things, and would write her questions and thoughts on the margins. Knowing I had the originals, it was all good.