Barefoot Lily Lady

A-Z Caregiving Tips (R-S)

Time to revisit my little series of A-Z Caregiving Tips. The photo below is the article which inspired me to make my own A-to-Z list. Let me pick up where I left off and invite you to join me this week for R and S.

Repeat gently, looking toward me if I miss hearing something.

One thing we caregivers do a lot is repeat ourselves. When our loved ones have trouble understanding what we say, it’s important to repeat things. It’s also important to communicate in a way that includes facial expressions, which provide important information for our loved ones. Because my mom was also very hard of hearing, she relied even more heavily on my facial expressions.

The person who has dementia needs you to sit down on their level, look them in the eyes with all gentleness as you speak. I say “gentleness” because it is very easy to have a look of annoyance or irritation when you feel like you’re repeating something for the umpteenth time. Caregivers must be aware that the non-verbal messages we communicate with our body language and facial expressions speak louder than the actual words we speak.

Facial expressions can be difficult for people with hearing problems to understand when we’re moving. Think about how often we call out to someone in another room during the day. Or when we talk to someone in passing as we’re busy with other things. If you’d like more information on this topic, click here for another great resource.

(With all respect to the original author of this list, I didn’t quite see how standing up for the environment relates to caregiving, so let me proffer my own version of the letter S.)

Step back and take a break.

Being a caregiver can be very stressful. I often felt overwhelmed while taking care of my mom. During those moments, I had to take a step back and take a break from all the pressure. For me, that meant leaving my mom with my husband for an hour or two so I could go to the gym. Sometimes he called me back home, but most of the time, I was able to enjoy some time for myself and relax.

It bothers me when I hear caregivers lament that they have no one to help them. I know that it is too often the case; but more often than not, the reality of the situation is that they (we) are afraid to ask for help–or reticent to accept help when it is offered.

I believed I was the best person to take care of my mom, but I also realized that I wasn’t the only one who could do it. It was important for my well-being to take a little break sometimes. I would reach out to our church’s private Facebook page and ask for someone to spend time with my mom for a few hours so I could do something else. Most of the time, someone was willing to help.

There were times when a friend would say something like, “Hey, my daughter and I would like to stop by on Monday to color with your mom. What time would be good for you?”

I learned two important lessons: Ask for help, and never refuse an offer of help.

Hello. My Name is Cindie,

…and I’m a recovering sugar addict.

Last week I shared a bit about my experience with eating a ketogenic diet. I received encouraging comments and a few private messages in response to my first post, “Hello. My Name is Cindie, and I’m a sugar addict.” Link to original post

In that post, I shared a link to a YouTube channel that was really helpful for me. Dr. Ken D. Berry’s YouTube channel provided me with information about why someone like me, who is insulin resistant, should think about following this way of eating. I found his insights valuable and appreciated how he explained the science behind how this diet could benefit someone with pre-diabetes.

Today, I want to introduce you to Paula Kish at Low Carb Revelation. Her channel is my almost daily source of help and encouragement when it comes to the daily practicalities of following a ketogenic way of eating. I was drawn to Paula and her channel because she began her keto journey two years ago for many of the same health challenges that I face. Her husband Ed joined her in this dietary lifestyle and often pops in on her vlog posts. Most recently, Ed is going through a healing journey following a horrendous motorcycle accident. Seeing how their diet has helped in the healing process has been truly informative and inspirational.

By God’s Grace and for His Glory

A sweet friend and aspiring blogger once asked me to guest write on her fledgling blog. I was happy to do so, as I was trying to get my own blogging endeavor off the ground and thought exposure to someone else’s audience might be helpful. As we all know, life doesn’t always follow our plans. God had other plans. My friend’s life filled up with the other good things God had planned for her life, and the blogging endeavor went by the wayside.

I almost deleted the article I wrote as a guest, because it remained unpublished in my draft folder for years. Before hitting “delete,” I re-read it and decided to hit “publish” before another year passes. It is my hope that this post will encourage another caregiver. I hope they find that no matter where life leads us, with God’s assistance, we can live by God’s grace and for His glory.

Considering Assisted Living?

If you are a caregiver for a loved one with dementia (or some other form of life-altering illness), there may come a day when you realize you need to consider other options for providing the best care. Perhaps the post that follows will be helpful as you wrestle with that important decision.

Comfort and Joy

Feeling more than a little bit under the weather right now. Whatever my husband has hit me hard yesterday. I tried my best not to get sick, but the monster cough caught me.

Wayne feels horrible about sharing whatever this is with me, but we are now sporting his and her bottles of cough syrup.

Baking at the Hive: Brown Sugar Crumb Cake

I typically bake at BeeHive Assisted Living and Memory Care on Mondays and Thursdays. I don’t like tantalizing people with the aroma of fresh baked goods and then saying, “Sorry, that’s for tomorrow.” So, Monday is my coffee cake day and Thursday is the day for fresh from the oven baked cookies.

I have developed a general 4-week plan, so many desserts repeat every 4 weeks, rarely repeating a particular dessert during that time. It’s SO fun. Today, I’m going to share the recipe for Brown Sugar Crumb Cake.

My copy of the recipe — my scribbles and all.

I’d like to give a shoutout and huge word of thanks to Shelly Jaronsky. I found Shelly’s recipe via Pinterest on her sweet website Cookies and Cups. I encourage you to check out the other yummy recipes on her site too. If you’d like to print your own copy of this brown sugar amazingness, just click here.

Shelly’s recipe description of this cake says it all:

The ULTIMATE Crumb Cake Recipe!! Brown Sugar Crumb Cake is a brown sugar twist on your usual coffee cake! It’s a rich and soft brown sugar cake topped with a thick layer of brown sugar crumbs AND a brown sugar icing!

Coffee cake batter

I’m baking for 32 people, so make two 9×13″ pans of this recipe. I double the cake batter recipe, substituting sour cream for the Greek yogurt. I generally use light brown sugar; but, if I happen to have dark brown sugar, I use half dark and half light. I’m also very generous with vanilla extract, adding an extra teaspoon. A big scoop helps me distribute the double batch of batter evenly between the two pans.

Brown Sugar Streusel

A double recipe of this brown sugar streusel deliciousness would be amazing, but a single recipe will amply cover both coffee cakes with crumbs. For the best crumb, make sure your butter is cold. I use a bench scraper to slice each stick lengthwise, then cut into small cubes. A pastry cutter works beautifully in the task of cutting the butter into the sugar/flour mixture. It’s ready when you can lightly squeeze a handful of the crumbs and they hold together.

Bake these at 350 for 25-30 minutes, or until it tests done. It might need a few extra minutes, but be careful you don’t overbake it. While it’s baking, make up a batch of the Caramel Topping.

Caramel Topping

You can go ahead and make a double batch, but as with the streusel, I find that a single batch of the caramel topping is enough to generously drizzle over both cakes while they are still warm.

It’s always a good sign when it gets real quiet in our dining room when dessert is served. That means the dessert is being enjoyed. There are smiles all around and a few thumbs up from happy diners.

A Gardener’s Quiet Nod to Alzheimer’s Awareness

I walked alongside my mother in the part of her life where Alzheimer’s dementia was her daily companion. I’m grateful for that time spent with her and learned so much as we traveled those years together.

She’s been enjoying heaven for three years now —freed from the bondage of failing mind and body. In these three years, I’m gradually learning to enjoy the freedom to spend moments (more like hours) of joy playing in the dirt in my garden.

If you were to visit my garden (and I hope you will), you might notice little splashes of purple objects d’art sprinkled throughout the flowerbeds. Second-hand curtain and drapery rods, trellises, and various chairs have all taken on a coat or two of purple spray paint.

Why purple? It’s both in memory of my mother (who loved that color), and also my quiet nod to Alzheimer’s awareness.

Getting the Tap Root

Joining my friends at Six on Saturday for some garden-related photos and fun. There’s not a whole lot going on my December garden–nothing that merits taking photos, anyway. There’s not even a trace of snow to photograph. Rather than bore you with photos of brown stuff, I thought I’d finish up a post I started way back in April, but never posted.

Proven Winners

There is a saying that goes something like . . .

“The road to a friend’s house is never long.“

That’s true, although, it helped that we flew this time. But spending time with Melinda, my fellow gardener and friend, is always a treat and well worth the miles.

One fine day in October, I took a lovely morning stroll with Melinda through LSU Ag Center gardens. Proven Winners (my favorite purveyors of all things growing) has trial gardens here. Weather in Louisiana this summer sure put the flowers to the ultimate test of heat and “exceptional drought” conditions. Summer in October was waning, but the heat still packed a punch that day with temps flirting with 90°F by early afternoon.

‘Blue My Mind’ is a dwarf morning glory in an intense shade of blue, which looked exceptionally lovely as a front of the border ground cover.

Oh how I hope this Celosia becomes available in Zone 5! Such pretty purples!

The extreme drought conditions in the south were definitely the ultimate challenge. There were a few places throughout the numerous flowerbeds where I noticed that their drip irrigation system was not functioning properly. Plants in those gardens suffered accordingly, as was proven by plant tags with crispy plants, or no plants at all. But this bed of “Louisiana Super Plants” fared well and looked gorgeous.

I’ll be back!

Overwintering Mandevilla

We were anticipating the possibility of a frost when our Mandevilla vine was just hitting its stride. I needed to make a decision about bringing it in for the winter. I had tried bringing my Mandevilla in last year and wrote about it in my post “Mandevilla: Bringing the Outside In.” My goal had been to keep it as a houseplant, but it dropped leaves like crazy and looked mostly dead, so I composted it. I have since read up a little bit more on how to overwinter this plant and think I may have given up too soon. I didn’t realize it was normal for the plant to go into dormancy.