Alzheimer’s – Barefoot Lily Lady

Momma’s Purse

A woman and her purse are not easily parted.

I had to laugh when I stumbled once again upon this screenshot. Oh, my sweet momma could have me in stitches.

Her purse came with her for snack time at Beehive, oftentimes carrying an extra snack or two given to her by the caregivers. I mean, who could resist giving this pretty lady an extra snack or two?

Whether living with me, or living at Beehive Homes of Oregon (WI), momma’s purse was always within reach. Sorting through her purse was a favorite middle of the night activity, so I tried to keep it stocked with all kinds of treasures and little things to sort and discover over and over again.

Momma and her babies

Momma always seemed to have her purse along when she was caring for her baby, Dolly. The purse would usually be in her lap with her baby sitting on top. I treasure the sweet memories of my momma loving on Dolly. They gave me little glimpses of the love and gentle kisses I know she once bestowed on me.

Never leave home without it

A woman never wants to leave the house without her purse, you know. We even rigged her walker so she could take her purse with her on our little walks to the mailbox and back.

An early sign of cognitive decline

Momma’s purse held one of the earliest signs of cognitive decline. I remember a day when I was visiting mom and helping her search for her lost checkbook. Her purse was one of those multiple zippered pocket contraptions that seemed to always swallow her car keys, wallet, hearing aides, and checkbook. As I once again searched the pockets she had already searched, I found both the lost checkbook and a list written in my mom’s familiar cursive hand. The list told a story of something else that was lost–the names of her very best friends at church. My sweet momma had taken her church bulletin and had practiced recalling and writing their names over and over again, willing herself to never forget them again.

Oatmeal Creme Pies

Life at Beehive is somehow better when there are fresh baked cookies involved.

Thursday is ‘Cookie Day’ at BeeHive where I consider it my mission to fill our assisted living memory care home with the amazing aroma of freshly baked cookies. In a world where memories are fading day by day, homemade cookies have a way of sparking memories from the personal baking experiences of yesteryear. My cookie recipe rotation includes classic favorites like chocolate chip, Snickerdoodles, peanut butter, and oatmeal raisin. When it’s oatmeal raisin’s turn on the menu, I sometimes make a special batch of thinner oatmeal cookies without raisins, adding just a hint of molasses.

I use Amanda Rettke’s recipe for “Oatmeal Cream Pies” found on her wonderful I Am Baker website. This cookie dough does require some chill time in the fridge. Rather than chilling the whole bowl of dough, I pre-scoop all of my cookies into uniform balls straight onto a few cookie sheets with only a tiny bit of space between each dough ball. I then slide the cookie sheets into a fridge and let them chill for about 30 minutes to an hour while I clean up my work station.

When it’s time to bake, I just place those chilled dough balls on a parchment-lined cookie sheet, spacing them appropriately so they can flatten and spread as they bake. As you can see in the photos, I do not use a cooling rack. After the cookies have cooled a bit on the cookie sheet, I slide the parchment paper straight onto the countertops to let them finish cooling.

Scooping delicious marshmallow-filled oatmeal cookies reminiscent of classic lunchbox treats.

While dozens of cookies are cooling on every available countertop and flat surface, I then create a marshmallow filling to sandwich between pairs of the cookies. The result is reminiscent of Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies — a popular lunchbox treat straight out of the 1960’s and still available today.

Since I use a cookie scoop, the cookies bake up fairly uniform in size, which makes the next step a little easier. I pair the cookies up and flip one of each pair upside down. Using a slightly smaller scoop, I add a dollop of marshmallow creme filling on one half (flat-side up), then top it with the other half and give it a little squish, stopping once the filling just reaches the edges of the cookie sandwich.

I let the cookies sit on the countertop to set up a bit until just before serving time. By this step in the cookie baking operation I usually have a little audience of residents standing at the window into the kitchen. They truly enjoy watching me bake and eagerly anticipate getting to eat the cookies after their lunch.

A delicious nostalgic treat that just might bring back fond memories.

It is my heart’s desire that the nostalgic aroma and flavor of freshly baked cookies make our residents at Beehive Homes of Oregon feel like they are at home.

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Why are mirrors often difficult for people with dementia?

My mom didn’t seem to have anxiety or fear when she viewed herself in a mirror, but I could tell she was wary of the person in the image. Momma was always gracious and hospitable, so it didn’t surprise me that she would sometimes think the image peering back at her in the mirror was someone visiting her home. I believe mom viewed herself as younger than her mirror image, so didn’t think that she was that older woman in the mirror. Mom’s mirror confusion was evidenced by her sometimes having an entirely sweet little chat with the other person.

The only time I noticed heightened concern was when mom would see her reflection in the mirror on her way into the bathroom–a place where most people prefer privacy. She would occasionally think the bathroom was occupied and then turn around and say something like, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were in here. I’ll come back later.”

Entirely sweet too, but sometimes this would lead to missed opportunities to make it to the bathroom on time.

Interesting note–her little hand mirror didn’t seem to cause any perception problems at all. Perhaps it was because it could be tucked away in a drawer if she didn’t want to look at her image any longer.Maybe it was because the image was just of her face and not her stooped over and aging body. I don’t know, but her hand mirror remained a prized possession well into her journey with dementia.

Visual perception problems can be challenging for those caring for someone they love who is dealing with dementia. I hope that Dr. Natali’s brief video will give you insight into this dementia behavior and practical suggestions for this stage of your caregiving journey.

Momma’s Prayers

Momma lived out her last years with Alzheimer’s. As her primary caregiver, I was honored to be an eyewitness to her faithful walk with the Lord, even as memories slipped away and her body failed her. I loved to hear her pray. May the Lord bless each of my readers with the grace to live life in the hard places like my momma.

More Clematis Love

Just a little splash of Clematis love coming from our July garden.

I would describe the color of Clematis ‘Prince Charles’ as lilac-blue. My husband dug this clematis up for me earlier this summer and then rehomed it in a spot about 2 feet away so that it wouldn’t have to reach so far toward this backyard arbor. I call this handsome guy “Charlie” as it is planted to remind me of my oldest grandson, Charlie.

Clematis ‘Comtesse de Bouchaud’ is most definitely a gorgeous showstopper gracing the south-facing front of our house. We gave her a bigger trellis a year or two ago, but it looks like we may need to upsize again in the near future. “Comtesse” is the French word for countess, a female member of nobility. This lovely lady is definitely regal.

A closer look at lovely Clematis ‘Comtesse de Bouchard’

Another view of ‘Comtesse de Bouchaud’ earlier this summer–just loaded with buds waiting to burst into glorious bloom. I just love her six-petaled rosy-pink (almost lavender) blossoms with creamy yellow stamens.

The petals of profusely flowering Clematis ‘Sunset’ are a stunning, velvety purple with streaks of sunset red radiating from her beautiful creamy white anthers. She’s a reliable repeat bloomer, but I’m going in with my pruning shears this week to snip out spent flowers to encourage a stronger repeat bloom.

Pretty in pink Clematis ‘Princess Diana’ is charming and super-happy this summer. I have her planted in full sun on both the southwest and southeast sides of our home. Though not technically a climber, I’ve trained her to the arbor at the entrance to our backyard.

Before life with Alzheimer’s necessitated moving my sweet momma out of her home, I took a digging of clematis from her lovely garden. I never found a tag for it, but think it just might be Clematis ‘Multi-Blue.’ This beauty has scrambled up one side of the arbor at the entrance to the backyard for almost 10 years now. I call her ‘Lady Charlotte’ in remembrance of momma, and hope that she will one day meet up with ‘Princess Diana’ regally scrambling up the other side.

That’s a wrap for my Six on Saturday from hot and humid Southern Wisconsin this Saturday. To enjoy the world garden tour visit our Six on Saturday host Jim at http://gardenruminations.co.uk

Assisted Living: What to Expect

May this little missive of mine encourage someone navigating a similar road in life.

Engaging in conversations with the family members is one of my favorite things to do as I work on preparing desserts in the kitchen of BeeHive Assisted Living and Memory Care. Since both my mom and my brother have lived there, my heart knows what they are experiencing as they partner with Beehive to care for someone that they love. It has now been five years since my sweet momma left behind the shackles of her earthly body and mind and quietly moved into her heavenly home.

I’m sharing the post that follows in honor of my mom–a little reminisce of things mom and I experienced in the early days of her stay at BeeHive. When I wrote the post that follows back in 2019, mom was living in BeeHive’s first building. In the months that followed, she would sit at her bedroom window watching as the second neighboring building was constructed. God has blessed and a third building is now nearing completion. My prayer for BeeHive is that many more families will experience the care that my loved ones and I received. May this little missive of mine encourage someone navigating a similar road in life.

A Message from an Alzheimer’s Caregiver

I am pleased to share this relatable post written by Mary K. Doyle. She understands all too well the ups and downs of the Alzheimer’s caregiver.

The Alzheimer’s Caregiver

For the Love of Purple

Come with me for a little tour of lovely purple-y blossoms in my flower garden.

One of my mom’s irises now blooming beautifully in my garden.

Earlier this Spring, Allium looked sweet popping up Willy-nilly in my sunny flowerbeds

Iris ‘Honky-Tonk Blues’ is a reliable re-bloomer.

An iris I have dubbed ‘Beth’s Favorite’ in honor of my daughter Beth.

Violas, or ‘Johnny Jump-Up’s’ have been re-seeding themselves for years

A timeless beauty—Clematis ‘Comtesse de Bouchaud’ is bursting with pinkish-lavender flowers. Love it!

Another view of gorgeous Clematis ’Comtesse de Bouchard’

I call these gals my ‘Carolinda’ irises — shared from the gardens of my two sweet aunts, Carolyn and Linda

I have a love-hate relationship with Spiderwort. It stays because it’s beautiful…and because it refuses to leave.

Love the lavender fluff in the center of this white spiderwort!

No post featuring the color purple (my mom’s favorite color) would be complete without a photo of one of her blue flowerpots brimming with purple and white supertunias.

On second thought—I think I will end this purple flower show with a photo of my sweet, purple -lovin’ momma.

Alzheimer’s: Remembering My Momma

I would be honored if you would take a moment to read this in remembrance of this grace-filled and incredibly special woman, Charlotte Louise Peet Boyles.

On a beautiful Sunday morning four years ago today, my sweet Momma quietly took her last breath on this side of Glory. All at once, the cares of this world and the frailties of body and mind disappeared as she met her dear Lord and Savior.

5 Years Ago

We’re back from our Hawaiian adventure with Mia. What a grand adventure.

Now I am settling back into the comfort of life’s routine. Sleeping in my own bed with my favorite pillow. Spending Sunday with our church family. Doing laundry in my own washing machine and not having to put $7.00 worth of quarters into the machine for each load!

Today I slept in until my body woke me up….and was almost late for work. It brought me joy being in BeeHive’s kitchen baking up treats for our residents again (many thanks to Karen who filled in for me while I was away).

In the midst of my baking joy, my heart remembered that my journey with BeeHive began 5 years ago today. March 25, 2019 was the day I accepted the help of BeeHive in caring for my mother in her journey Home with Alzheimer’s.

Facebook confirmed that memory with two reminisce posts. Many of my friends and family were praying as I moved Momma out of my home and into her new bedroom at BeeHive. We arrived just in time for lunch. While mom and I ate lunch, Wayne and Beth moved mom’s things into her new room, setting it up much like her bedroom in my home. After lunch, I walked mom into her new space and she settled right in and was soon napping.

I sat in her room watching her sleep for a bit, then met with Gina to go over some move-in details. When we were finished, I was not quite sure what to do with myself. I wrote about that here…

Momma would live here for the last 14 months of her sojourn on earth. Here she would be loved and cared for with the level of care I could not provide. She had friends around her, good food, fun activities, someone to help her every hour of the day or night, and someone to help her to shower (something I couldn’t offer her at my house).

Placing her in assisted living memory care was a hard decision. And the right decision.

Thank you, BeeHive!