#barefootlilylady – Page 3 – Barefoot Lily Lady

My 2023 in Flowers

It seems to me that the year 2023 whooshed by in a hurry to 2024. The gardener in me is already plotting out what I’d like to see in my garden in the next growing season. I thought it might be fun to reflect upon some of that beauty of last year as I look forward to the growth and beauty in the year that lies ahead. Won’t you join me?

A-Z Caregiving Tips (R-S)

Time to revisit my little series of A-Z Caregiving Tips. The photo below is the article which inspired me to make my own A-to-Z list. Let me pick up where I left off and invite you to join me this week for R and S.

Repeat gently, looking toward me if I miss hearing something.

One thing we caregivers do a lot is repeat ourselves. When our loved ones have trouble understanding what we say, it’s important to repeat things. It’s also important to communicate in a way that includes facial expressions, which provide important information for our loved ones. Because my mom was also very hard of hearing, she relied even more heavily on my facial expressions.

The person who has dementia needs you to sit down on their level, look them in the eyes with all gentleness as you speak. I say “gentleness” because it is very easy to have a look of annoyance or irritation when you feel like you’re repeating something for the umpteenth time. Caregivers must be aware that the non-verbal messages we communicate with our body language and facial expressions speak louder than the actual words we speak.

Facial expressions can be difficult for people with hearing problems to understand when we’re moving. Think about how often we call out to someone in another room during the day. Or when we talk to someone in passing as we’re busy with other things. If you’d like more information on this topic, click here for another great resource.

(With all respect to the original author of this list, I didn’t quite see how standing up for the environment relates to caregiving, so let me proffer my own version of the letter S.)

Step back and take a break.

Being a caregiver can be very stressful. I often felt overwhelmed while taking care of my mom. During those moments, I had to take a step back and take a break from all the pressure. For me, that meant leaving my mom with my husband for an hour or two so I could go to the gym. Sometimes he called me back home, but most of the time, I was able to enjoy some time for myself and relax.

It bothers me when I hear caregivers lament that they have no one to help them. I know that it is too often the case; but more often than not, the reality of the situation is that they (we) are afraid to ask for help–or reticent to accept help when it is offered.

I believed I was the best person to take care of my mom, but I also realized that I wasn’t the only one who could do it. It was important for my well-being to take a little break sometimes. I would reach out to our church’s private Facebook page and ask for someone to spend time with my mom for a few hours so I could do something else. Most of the time, someone was willing to help.

There were times when a friend would say something like, “Hey, my daughter and I would like to stop by on Monday to color with your mom. What time would be good for you?”

I learned two important lessons: Ask for help, and never refuse an offer of help.

Considering Assisted Living?

If you are a caregiver for a loved one with dementia (or some other form of life-altering illness), there may come a day when you realize you need to consider other options for providing the best care. Perhaps the post that follows will be helpful as you wrestle with that important decision.

A Gardener’s Quiet Nod to Alzheimer’s Awareness

I walked alongside my mother in the part of her life where Alzheimer’s dementia was her daily companion. I’m grateful for that time spent with her and learned so much as we traveled those years together.

She’s been enjoying heaven for three years now —freed from the bondage of failing mind and body. In these three years, I’m gradually learning to enjoy the freedom to spend moments (more like hours) of joy playing in the dirt in my garden.

If you were to visit my garden (and I hope you will), you might notice little splashes of purple objects d’art sprinkled throughout the flowerbeds. Second-hand curtain and drapery rods, trellises, and various chairs have all taken on a coat or two of purple spray paint.

Why purple? It’s both in memory of my mother (who loved that color), and also my quiet nod to Alzheimer’s awareness.

Getting the Tap Root

Joining my friends at Six on Saturday for some garden-related photos and fun. There’s not a whole lot going on my December garden–nothing that merits taking photos, anyway. There’s not even a trace of snow to photograph. Rather than bore you with photos of brown stuff, I thought I’d finish up a post I started way back in April, but never posted.

Proven Winners

There is a saying that goes something like . . .

“The road to a friend’s house is never long.“

That’s true, although, it helped that we flew this time. But spending time with Melinda, my fellow gardener and friend, is always a treat and well worth the miles.

One fine day in October, I took a lovely morning stroll with Melinda through LSU Ag Center gardens. Proven Winners (my favorite purveyors of all things growing) has trial gardens here. Weather in Louisiana this summer sure put the flowers to the ultimate test of heat and “exceptional drought” conditions. Summer in October was waning, but the heat still packed a punch that day with temps flirting with 90°F by early afternoon.

‘Blue My Mind’ is a dwarf morning glory in an intense shade of blue, which looked exceptionally lovely as a front of the border ground cover.

Oh how I hope this Celosia becomes available in Zone 5! Such pretty purples!

The extreme drought conditions in the south were definitely the ultimate challenge. There were a few places throughout the numerous flowerbeds where I noticed that their drip irrigation system was not functioning properly. Plants in those gardens suffered accordingly, as was proven by plant tags with crispy plants, or no plants at all. But this bed of “Louisiana Super Plants” fared well and looked gorgeous.

I’ll be back!

Overwintering Mandevilla

We were anticipating the possibility of a frost when our Mandevilla vine was just hitting its stride. I needed to make a decision about bringing it in for the winter. I had tried bringing my Mandevilla in last year and wrote about it in my post “Mandevilla: Bringing the Outside In.” My goal had been to keep it as a houseplant, but it dropped leaves like crazy and looked mostly dead, so I composted it. I have since read up a little bit more on how to overwinter this plant and think I may have given up too soon. I didn’t realize it was normal for the plant to go into dormancy.

A Week of Flowers – Day #7

Here is my Day #7 offering of floral photos for A Week of Flowers hosted by Cathy of Words and Herbs. Sad to see the week come to an end, but will look for an invitation to participate next year–this was fun.

Today I’m sharing a few of the “sunny” colors from my garden. I hope they brighten up your day no matter what season you’re enjoying in this beautiful world.

How Big is this Problem? Part 2

I just came from the post office and feel like I need to share an update related to the bumpy road of paperwork related to redetermining my brother’s Medicaid status. In my last post, I shared that I felt somewhat alone in the task of coming up with answers to the who, what, when, why and where questions on the lengthy MADR form (Medicaid Disability Redetermination Report).

A Week of Flowers – Day #6

Cathy from Words and Herbs extended an invitation for bloggers to join her in one week of sharing our flower photos to brighten up these lackluster days of winter. Here’s my Day #6 contribution of mostly pinks and peaches.

Let’s start with my beautiful Stargazer lily. She blooms every summer near the fountain in our garden. Her scent is incredible, and she has such adorable freckles.